Let me ask you a question. How do you treat your friends? When you see them do you get excited? Do you stop what you're doing to go over and greet them? Do you give them a hug and tell them that you have missed them?
What about your children? When they come in the room, do your eyes light up? Do you say something loving and give them a hug. When they are hurting do you quickly do all that you can to ease their pain?
What about your husbands? Hmmm. I know for me when I asked myself that same question, I heard crickets. Yikes. Why is it that the very person who has been my rock for almost half of my life seems to be the same person who is forced, by me, to take a backseat in my life. Who feels like, in my mind, everything else holds much more importance than himself.
Why are we so easily drained when it comes to our husbands, but when our children or friends come calling, we have suddenly been rejuvenated. All my husband wants from me, his wife, are small gestures of thoughtfulness. What if he came home at noon one day and said 'I just didn't have anymore in me today to keep working to make money for our family so that you could continue to stay home with our kids and put food on the table.' Why would it be okay for me to tire, but not him. Why would he be required to show kindness and love, but me show nothing in return.
My husband deserves a wife who...
Looks at him with love. When he walks in the room, sure the majority of the time I am busy, but I should always have a moment for him. To be able to show him that I am thrilled that he’s near.
Smiles warmly. To light up when I see him. He’s not old news or simply a familiar face. He’s the guy who lights up my world. The person whom the Lord thought would fit perfectly with me.
Replies graciously. To not snap or snarl. To save my sweet tone for him and not just use it around my friends and children. He’s a valued friend so I need to be mindful to communicate love and appreciation for him.
Offers thoughtfulness. To look for those little ways to bless him. We know what our husbands like and those small details can help show him the place that he has in our heart. I am often quick to show detailed love to my friends and kiddos, so why would my husband be any different?
And on her tongue is the law of kindness. Prov. 31:26
I have to admit that all of this takes effort on my part. More than I would like to admit. I’m sorry to say that it doesn't flow naturally from me, but with God's leading I know that eventually it will.
I know that God loves me just as much as he loves my husband. He will help and teach and guide me to a place of comfort. It is not fate that we are married to each other. We are one because He made us one. When I disrespect my husband, I am also disrespecting God. When I read those words, I just want to give myself a spankin'. Why would I honestly think that it was okay to tell my best friend that I just don't have the time or energy to show you kindness, respect or love? To share five minutes of my time. And why would I feel it convenient to tell God that I just don't have time or energy for the person who he made for me.
Simple, small acts of kindness offered to a friend...
Who also happens to be my husband.
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